If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
