I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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