Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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