omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
50% drunk capacity currently
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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