Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
