so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
