the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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