If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Drake has all the answers
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
