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• (847): View more from Illinois

  i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  ... about that ...

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• (209): View more from California

  just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods

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• (760): View more from California

  He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ

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• (858): View more from California

  you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.

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• (607): View more from New York

  She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high

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