fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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