I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
