when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Jerry, you need to find god
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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