omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
