at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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