What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
