I heard we made out
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
