Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
