Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
