You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
