Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
