Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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