i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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