Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
