Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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