pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
