why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
