I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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