He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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