I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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