Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
