Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
