I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
