wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize