i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
