No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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