So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize