And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize