i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
