I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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