I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
