That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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