He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize