he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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