What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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