it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
