He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
