i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
