Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
