i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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