why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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