If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
