never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
These tits shall not be calmed
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize