Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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