the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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